Skinny People Problems - Toilet Time

Fair warning.  This is a bathroom post featuring genitalia.

My weight loss journey has brought me down under 220 lbs, my guess is that it'll be a few pounds under after today's massive poop... but my sit-down time this afternoon has presented me with one of the problems I am adjusting to as I shed pounds.

Over the last week, there have been a few times when as I sit on the pot, my balls take a dip.  This is a new experience for me and it confused me at first, because the water level in the toilet didn't seem higher, and my nuts don't seem to hang any lower than the did before, so why has this started happening?  It took a few brief moments of contemplation to realize the most likely answer is my weight loss has left me with several inches less padding on my posterior and thus I have lowered my important bits when I am seated. Do all skinny guys deal with this?

I had previously noticed that sitting on a hard surface, be it bench, chair, or toilet seat, is a less comfortable experience, with my ass feeling boneier than ever...  My solution to that was going to be to do some ass-centric workouts and put on a little meat back there... so far motivation has been even slimmer than the new "skinny me" though.  Maybe with this new discomfort I will re-invest in some squats, lunges, and back kicks.

Ingress is an augmented reality game that I play.  Unlike most people I play solo.  Back when I started you had to get an invite from a player to play, or request an invite from the game.  I overheard some people talking about it in a restaurant and asked the game for an invite, and mine came about 2 weeks later.  I never used any of the invites I was awarded by the game.

The main crux of ingress is basically going to public places of interest and claiming them for your team, or damaging the claim on it made by the opposing team.  I am part of the Resistance (blue team) opposed to the Enlightened (green team).  These places of interest are called portals in the game, and Ingress has had a system of identifying new spots for portals and editing portals that are inaccurate.  I noticed that many of the "info" fields about these places have been left blank, which is a shame, since part of the game is finding these things in your community.  I think I'm going to put some effort into researching some of  the local portals and getting some of the information about them shared.

Accomplishments

Oh yeah... I forgot to mention earlier, that I did, at the age of 35, finally complete an associates degree.  I graduated after the summer semester from Johnson County Community College with an Associate of Arts - Liberal Arts, an Associate of General Studies, and an Associate of Science - General Sciences degree.

While on the topic of awards and accomplishments, after 4 months in his Karate lessons, we let Minion earn his Karate Gi (uniform) today.  Very proud of our little man.  Today has almost been backwards compared to my last post about him.  He was a model citizen in his Karate class, despite plenty of distracting influences around him, but had 2 potty accidents today, which has become highly uncharacteristic from him of late.

Little Updates - Kids + Weight loss

For those of you keeping up on my boys, they are well.

All of Nugget's health issues previously mentioned have passed. He is doing a lot of pulling himself to standing and scooting along the edges of things. His favorite food right now seems to be paper products he finds within reach of his grabby little hands. He's typically happy and low maintenance.

Minion is doing pretty well, too.  I feel like were over the hump on the whole potty training thing finally.  He's in underpants during the days now, and his accidents are very rare.  He's been a rotten listener in Mr. Stillwell's karate classes when other students are there, so we are mixing in a few private lessons to help him focus.  His swim lessons came and went. He enjoyed them and wants to take more... we'll probably arrange for that. On our annual float trip, Minion came with me on the raft for the first time this year. He liked it pretty well.  He's a little river-rat, like his Dada and his Beba.  Would have been  in the river more and the raft less if I would have let him.

For those of you keeping up on my post-barbaric progress, it's going well.

I weighed in at 243.2 this morning. So I've lost about 154 lbs in a little over 6 months.  Still not hungry.  I don't eat myself sick anymore, but still eat to discomfort more than occasionally. Eating so much less, and with mine being a relatively low-fiber diet, there's been a lot less pooping.  I've gone from probably 10 or more times a week to 1-2 a week. Still an adjustment, but it's not a bad thing. loose skin is unpleasant, but tolerable.

I can run now... not fast or for long, but "run" is now on of my options for locomotion when it wasn't before. I also performed a few tricep dips; an exercise I haven't done in over a decade is available to me again now, too.

Soon I'll talk to you all about what going's on in my photography, but I'm out of steam tonight - going to go pass out, now.

The Dream

I am thankful for my job.  I get paid well for what I do. I have an excellent benefits package, too.  But... I know I am capable of more.  There is little about my job I find truly satisfying.  I used to adore interacting with my photographer clientele, but corporate has pulled the purse strings so tight now there there is no payroll budget to have any form of leisure time to glad-hand our pros.  I am a 100% balls-to-the-walls one-man-band style production when I'm in the lab.  Juggling the needs of the 3 or 4 people using our kiosks to place orders, filling ink, keeping the printer churning and burning, doing maintenance, calling old orders, cleaning up messes and general dirt and dust. We can't afford any overlapping shifts any longer. There is not actually time to tell someone I like there work and have a discussion about it. Since Nick left my lab, it's been a slow downward slide. None of the litany that have been in to take his place really care about photography. Some care about the lab, and the business, but not the art. Some of my pros quit feeling special, and left to go find more personalized treatment elsewhere. Others have just moved away. We're not attracting new artists. But the long and the short of it is that I am still damn good at my job, my job is easy for me, but the part of my job I was passionate about has been taken away from me.  Now it's just what I do to earn money.

When I had applied for a different position some time back, the interviewing manager asked if I thought my new position would be as fulfilling creatively for me. I don't remember if I actually laughed out loud, but I know my soul burst into a guffaw.  I don't find my work creatively fulfilling, my avocation is my creative outlet, my job is how I afford my avocation.

In the same interview she asked me to describe my ideal, dream job. I laid out a situation in which a rich patron decides they love my photography and offers to fund my experimentation into the medium - I simply shoot and edit and create the art I want, and get a steady, generous stipend for doing so.

Is that too much to ask?

In the intervening years, I've considered how I would prefer to make money.

The "dream" right now would be to have a fine art photography studio, with lots of space and spaces devoted to shooting everything from Micro- and Macro- photography through large scale studio shoots. There would be darkroom and a light-room editing suite. Attached to the studio would be a gallery where my artwork, and perhaps the artwork of my photo associates, is on display and for sale. and of course an office where the paperwork gets handled.

In the dreamiest versions,  my closest photog friends and I use the studio, and go out on shoots, develop our art, and our gallery becomes a destination. Like Studio 291.  I hire my buddy Jake to be the manager and maintain the staff and paperwork and stuff, and he and my photogs make good bank doing this.

But...
instead...
I'd better go find my namebadge...
I will need it to punch the clock tomorrow so I can go earn some money doing the daily grind, utilizing a skillset most highschoolers could develop, only doing it at a masterclass level that comes with 15 years of spinning your wheels in the same profession.

I'm still here.

It's been a while since my last update. I have 2 unfinished draft-posts floating around out there... one from the first of June and one in early July...  They are no longer as topical and timely as they were... I may re-edit and post them anyway.

As for my weight loss journey.  Things are going well. I'm down a little more than 150 pounds since I started the per-surgery liquid diet at the very end of January. I'm under 250 pound, maybe for the first time in my adult life. Depending on the brand I'm wearing L or XL shirts and a few XXLs that I refuse to give up on yet.  I'm in size 40 "loose fit" cut jean shorts.  Size 42 carpenter cut.

One of my buddies talked about buying himself a new wardrobe of nerd fandom clothes once he loses about 30 pounds or so.  I was a little jealous. I have very little in the way of nerd fandom clothes right now. I have some very nice, quite sensible, professional looking hand-me-downs that I am very grateful and thankful for.  I actually really like my new silk shirt I inherited, but when it comes right down to it. Nothing about anything in my wardrobe is something I went out and got because I wanted it. None of it says anything about me.

One thing about me is I'm broke.  Well not REALLY broke... I'm actually doing better than most, financially... but I have a lot of expensive things I want to buy, so my money is spent before I even earn it. I want to finish stomping our mortgage out of existence... My wife is in need of a newer car... I intend to acquire an upgraded camera... I want to get a new ultra-wide angle linticular lens, too... eventually I am going to pay for skin removal surgery...  All big ticket items that means my clothing budget is in the "you're broke" range, even though we make acceptable incomes and have no debt other than our home.

But since I'm "broke" and want clothes, I go where broke people shop for clothes.

I get a batman teeshirt and boxers, 2 belts I like, the afore mentioned jean shorts, they had polos on clearance, and I got several for $5 each. And though their nerd-tees are not over priced, and there is currently a wide selection... I balk at spending the cash especially since I typically wear my work clothes all day so I'd only dress in my geek-gear 2 days a week at most.

But later... on amazon...  I had a brilliant idea.  Iron-on patches! I'm going to nerd up my cheap-ass polos that I wear to work with some nerd patches, which run between three and four dollars shipped. So for $9 or less I'll have a work-appropriate nerd shirt. Genius!

None of this is actually what I logged into Blogger to post about tonight. I was about to delve into that here... but then thought "tl;dr"

This is enough for one post.  I'll make my intended topic it's own post.

We'll see

Today I may have convinced one of the managers at my location to start coming to Judo with me.  Don't know if he'll actually show up though. We'll see.
On Thursday, Minion was still awful in his afternoon karate class.  The new girl is setting him off. There's a boy there about his age who is acting dead-on perfect though... I asked Minion to emulate him instead of her.  We'll see.
The camera and lens I loaned to another photographer 3 weeks back came back today. The one I loaned out 8 months back came back last week. Still out on loan is a tripod to one photog and a camping tent to another... don't know if I'll ever see either of those again.  Guess we'll see.
So far I have gotten perfect scores on both of my Econ quizes, and on the one assignment that's been graded.  Will my second assignment, and the work that I have yet to turn in all come back with all the available points scored? We'll see.
Potty training with Minion is progressing slowly.  I had hoped he'd be out of his diapers by now. How much longer will this phase of his life take? We'll see.  But no matter how frustrated I become at this, I cannot understand this "father" beating his 3 year old son son so hard it killed him, over potty training. That's something I could have gone without seeing.
My cousin's daughter ran away yesterday.  I learned about it this morning on Facebook. The police found her this afternoon. I neither know what prompted that decision, nor what will happen next. We'll see.
I'm re-working a poster of the managers and administrative staff at work to reflect recent promotions and transfers. Some people had expressed a level of distaste for the image currently being used for them, so I made a sign to post offering re-shoots since I am re-working the poster now anyway. Wonder if anyone will take me up on that. We'll see.

Toddlers are still Assholes

So Tuesday afternoon's karate class was a complete disaster. Mr Kinser, my Jujitsu instructor, was subbing in for Mr. Stillwell, while he and his wife went to a baseball game for her birthday. There was a new student in Minion's class. She is quite a bit older than him... maybe 7 or 8, and has a teenage sister who had been a student of Mr Stillwell's in the past. She wasn't just happy or excited to be there... she was giddy.  She bounced in place clapping and giggling with the energy of a dozen Jack Russle Terrier Puppies radiating off of her.

It was contagious. Minion was hopelessly unfocused before class ever started. 2 other little boys showed up and they were relatively clam and focused. The girl kept getting out of line, but a word or two from Mr. Kinser and she'd snap back into proper behavior. Not my boy, however. As soon as she acted goofy, he had to one up her, and no words were going to pull him back in line that day. While concepts were being explained, he'd wonder off to play with the punching bag.  While students were practicing kicks, he was rolling around on the floor.  This was the least cooperative I had ever seen him in class.  He was being a little asshole to MY instructor. It was mortifying.

Well see how this afternoon goes.

Today he told me, "When you fall down you do it on the mat so you don't break your head." Wise words, little man, wise words.  I did explain to him that practicing on the mat, to keep your head safe when you fall, is so that when you DO fall when there isn't a mat, you do it right so that you won't break your head.

I let him use gardening shears to prune our fence line today, until it started raining on us.

Do larks really look happier than other birds?

Nugget is still less interesting to talk about.  He ate strawberry puree. He pooped. He played with a big plastic ring. His ear infection doesn't seem to concern him one little bit. Happy as a lark.

So far, the first week of Economics class seems to be off to a good enough start. No news there, really.  I aught to be working on my first paper for that class, or prepping for my quiz instead of blogging, but... screw that. I wanna get a blog post up, so here I am.

You don't here me talk politics very much...  and you probably won't going forward. It's not my thing. I am generally in agreement with the late great Douglas Adams; anyone capable of being elected into office should never be entrusted with the job.  I have lost all respect for politicians and the politcal process. I consider myself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal; like the Koch brothers.  Unlike them, I am unwilling to support bat-shit crazy candidates who oppose my social views in order to elect the people who support my fiscal views.

So far in this election the only candidate I have any actual respect for is Bernie Sanders, because he has zero interest in talking about other candidates, and wants to focus on policies and issues.  He's not out fundraising, he's out campaigning on his policies.  I don't agree with all of them. But it has been refreshing to see someone who has dropped the rhetoric and mudslinging down to normal human levels and talks about issues when running for office.

I have some other things to discuss, like my weight, gut issues, pooping... Potty training toddlers...  "What to do around Kansas City" ... Ya know, stuff.

But it sounds from here like nap time is over for both of the little ones... so that will all have to be in another post or two.

Some Hard Lessons

Two lessons I learned in Judo last night: When your back is finally feeling good, don't try to struggle your way out of kesa gatame, and it is distinctly unpleasent to have your right (migi) gonad trod upon. Neither lesson will have resulted in permanent damage.

On a less unpleasant note, Nugget doesn't have Chicken Pox, his rash is some other unidentified but non-contagious virus according to his pediatrician.  And looks like the antibiotics didn't clear up his ear infection... or he has a new one. Either way - new meds for the tiny guy.

Enrolled Minion in swim lessons that start at the beginning of July. I feel guilty he hasn't been around water more.  At his age he aught to be comfortable swimming.  His Karate classes are going great, he pays decent attention when there are no other students there!  He's been getting private lessons pretty often right now because Blue Valley Rec is in-between sessions, and a lot of Mr. Stillwell's students come in through them.  All the better for Minion.

The A from my Comp II class is on my transcript now.  Brings me up over a 3.0
GPA again.  I have Economics over the summer semester, and I think I may re-take Algebra in the fall to mend my grade in it.  I was a smart-ass when I originally took it and tried to game the system. It sort of worked.  I showed up twice and got a high enough grade to count towards my degrees... but it won't transfer, and disallows me to take further mathematics courses if I wanted to. Getting a D is just not good enough.  There are a few other courses that I had failed in my youth that re-taking would improve my GPA even more, but they are less important for further schooling, if I choose to go that route.

I did apply to graduate following the summer semester.  Once Economics is complete, I will have met the requirements for an A.A. in Liberal Arts, and A.G.S. in General Studies, and an A.S. in General Sciences.

A pox on my family

Day care told us that our 7 month old had regrettably been exposed to chicken pox at their facility last week.  begining today we've noticed a fever and the first signs of a rash, to go along with our unusually cranky baby. This could be a long week. My wife can not miss work Wednesday.  If I have to call in to stay home with the boy, I'll miss out on my holiday pay for Memorial Day. Uhg.

What goes up...

So, yesterday was my first time on a ladder where I did not technically exceed the manufacturers safety weight limit... it was a combination of an industrial ladder with a 350lb limit and my weight loss which has me down to 277 this morning...  Oh but don't worry... I couldn't JUST go up a ladder that was finally theoretically safe... I chose a well broken one to use. Then today at home, I abused my 200lb weight limit step stool to work on the ceiling in the 3 year old's room, just to make up for NEARLY being safe the day before.

Time Machine

I found out today that my company is replacing the 10 year old print-making equipment we use in our photolab with a refurbished machine from another manufacturer that runs 6% faster, and easier to fill with chemicals when it runs out, but is harder to do maintenance on, runs with only 2 paper rolls loaded at a time instead of 4, and cannot print the 12x24 and 12x36 print sizes we offer now.  We have some people who make a lot of those, who will be disappointed.  I uses those sizes for some of my shots too...  I print my lightning shot as a 12x36 most of the time.

When we upgraded to our current equipment in 2005, the lab was supposed to experience just 2 days of downtime, but it took the techs 5 to get us up and running. This will be a downgrade (in my opinion) and I am not excited about this change.  The vague e-mail said only that this would be happening before the Christmas season.  I was originally trained on the same brand (older models) of equipment that we will be getting...  Time to knock a decade of dust and rust off that old skillset and get mentally flexible enough re-learn. *Groan*

Well, didn't see THAT coming.

Something unexpected happened yesterday at work; they named me the Employee of the Month for April.  My department saw it's busiest month ever outside of a Christmas season, and we did it understaffed due to an employee quitting without notice, but still, I wasn't expecting that. As a matter of fact, my supervisor and I had been conspiring to recognize the employee who did the most to bail us out of out bind, and who we consequently hired out of his current department and into ours.  When I asked her if he had gotten it, she was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Congratulations," she said, "I nominated YOU instead, and you were voted in!" Apparently I beat out 5 other nominees, and 4 managers had planned to nominate me.

So a selfie for the EoM board it is.

Today had some moments in it. The little karateka did alright in class today, but was still distracted like a 3 year old. Afterwards I took a detour on the way home and checked out 2 options for tots swim lessons, because he aught to know the basic water safety stuff, and have a calm happy relationship with water... right now I'm pretty sure if he fell in, he would panic.  Not good, and it's something that as a former WSI I feel pretty guilty about. Still shopping after looking at those.

We stopped at BK for lunch.  I got a Jr. Whopper for me and an order of chicken fries for the boy. I stole one of his fries, ate most of my sandwich... for the last 2 bites worth, I ditched the rest of the bun and just ate the innards.  I should have done that from the get-go... I over ate. Oui! So Full!  No good.  Can't keep it all in...  That happens sometimes now when I eat too quickly, or just plain don't stop when I really should (but there's only one bite left!)  So I pull over in a parking lot, near a dumpster...  I position myself between some landscaping and the wall of the dumpster enclosure, so no passerbys are likely to witness the disgustingness, and everything will land on grass where Mother Nature will take care of it over time, and with it being right next to the dumpster, it's unlikely the smell will be the strongest odor in the area... I figured it was as fortunate a spot for an unfortunate occurrence as I was likely to get.  Of course all of this parking and noticing and thinking happened in the span of a few brief seconds before lunch, which was my first meal today, came back up.  Just after it did I see a sudden movement from a space about a foot to the left of where it had landed. A previously unnoticed Blue Jay cocked his head at me and gave me an angry glare.

I apologized to him for puking in his home and possibly hitting him with some splatter... He squawked angerily and hopped deeper into the brush.

Once I finally got home, we reviewed some of the karate stuff with the boy, fed the baby, let the kids watch some TV and Play with some toys for a bit before nap time.  Then I worked on wrapping up the last of my papers for my Comp II course.  I have an unfortunate history of signing up for Comp II and then not going to many of the classes, not doing the papers and the like...  I have 4 Fs on my college transcript with Comp II next to them...  Not this time though.  I attended ever single session - including the one the day after I was stabbed 5 times and had an internal organ carved out of me.  Every paper has been written, revised, revised and revised and it is likely the two I turned in tonight are DONE.  If so I have an A in the class and it's over.  I'll find out when I show up Thursday.  If they need further revision, I have 3 hours Thursday to accomplish that. Regardless, I have defeated the dreaded COMP II beast, and can move on.

After I trekked up to the college to turn in the papers, I went off to Judo, where Mr Kinser finally remembered to bring in the list of belt requirements for me to take home and study. Class went well, we covered most of the techniques for the 2nd (of 5) test for the 2nd belt.  While we were in class Mr. Paul Hearter, one of Mr. Kinser's black belts, showed up to chat with Mr. Stilwell, so I hung out after class to listen in to their chatter.  I love hearing the Bushidokan old guard talk.

One thing I've noticed

I've had some soreness in my muscles that I believe to be unrelated to any of my increased activity. I ponder whether this is related to a loss of my intermuscular adipose tissue, or maybe muscle loss from reduced load weight and sudden shift in nutrition...  regardless, there has been some body aches.

On the flip side though, I can make a tight fist with my right hand again.  For a while, I couldn't.  I had a strong grip- I could have squeezed the heck out of a roll of silver dollars... but a roll of dimes would have been too small for me to squeeze...  now I have my fist back.

My weigh-in this morning was at 280.6 down from a peak of 397.2 on January 26. 116.6 lbs in 110 days. So, about 1.06 pounds a day since I began the pre-surgery, 2-week, all-liquid diet to soften my liver... extrapolating out... with a goal weight of about 200 pounds, I aught to be about 76 days out, at this rate. That puts me hitting goal on August first!

Realistically, that will not at all be the case, I was losing many pounds a day at the very first, and the rate has been tapering. Right now I'm losing about 3 lbs a week, which is more like hitting goal on the 21st of November.  If you figure my rate will probably continue to taper, I think maybe aiming for the Starting 2016 at goal weight might sound reasonable.

I think I crapped my brains out.

Hmm, does that mean I have sh*t for brains? ... Probably.

Honestly, the mental mistakes began yesterday night as I was getting ready for bed.  I knew it was Thursday night, but for some reason I had Wednesday's schedule in my head, and I set my alarm with plenty of time to get the boys to daycare and make it to work by 9:30.

When my alarm went off I heard my wife getting the 3 year old ready to leave... "Oh yeah, it's Friday-- she takes the bigger buddy boy in on her way into work today." *SNOOZE* but before too much longer my gut grumbled greasily and I knew I had to get up.

What I didn't know yet was that I was going to make an attempt to propel myself into orbit with a hydrolic jet.  I felt awful. Among other things, I was feeling guilty for soiling the toilet.  When Mom had come over yesterday to help with the kids, she had scrubbed it clean... and this was... unclean.  The type of unclean where I needed Clorox wipes to clean the underside of the toilet seat.

I had weighed myself before I sat down. Once I was finally done and cleaned up, I got back on the scale. I had lost 1.6 lbs. And then, I wasn't done anymore. Round two struck. while that worked it's way through my system, I posted to FB and called in to work - there was no way I was going to make it by 9:30 in this condition. In between my 3rd and 4th bouts I tracked down some Imodium.

I found some irony in calling in today.  I had seriously considered playing hookey on Wed to get a research paper written for school, but I just couldn't do it.  Work needs me, and I am a responsible adult, and a reliable person, and all that jazz. I have a duty. Today doodie was more important than duty.  I didn't call in on Wed, but spent all day Thurs before class grinding on it, and got it to an acceptable enough place that after only a few in-class revisions the instructor dubbed it an A worthy paper... Now I call in on my NEXT shift instead, when I'm not under the gun.

Last time I was late getting the 6mo old to daycare, they were concerned, so once I felt it was safe to venture more than a minute from the bathroom, I packed up the baby, gave him the last his anti-ear-infection meds and a bottle, and headed to daycare.

As I was pulling into the parking lot I thought about how I always check in on the 3 yr old when I drop the baby off, and see how he's acting at lunch time...  but it's pretty darned early for lunch, isn't it?  This is when I first realize that this is FRIDAY and that means I should be on FRIDAY'S schedule... I wouldn't typically drop Nugget off for another hour and a half, because I'm not scheduled to work until 12:05.  This is when I decided I must have flushed my brain today.

I went and got a McIcedTea, and wondered about town for about an hour. By then the boy was starting to get restless, but I didn't figure dropping him off 20 minutes early today would hurt anything... Besides... I needed to find another bathroom... I wasn't certain there were more problems, but I didn't want to risk a fart at this point.

I abuse 1/2 price books for their facilities- things aren't right, but they are better than before. I shop around their photo section, martial arts section, amime, software, etc. and pick up a $5 book on a famous oddball photographer.

I head home and see a garage sale on my street, so I stop and look.  There's a steel dump truck toy that my older boy would adore, but there is no one manning the sale.  I knock on the door, and offer $2. Offer accepted, I take the prize home and leave in where the boy will notice it first thing when he comes in the door.

But walking home from the sale I noticed something I felt was photogenic, and I hadn't shot much recently... since the light was good and I didn't have much on my slate just now, I grabbed my camera and headed back to take a few shots. The shots of the neighbor's discarded furniture didn't come out quite like I had seen it in my mind's eye... but the crack in the weatherworn, wet sidewalk with the helicopter seeds pretty much did. In the full resolution image, there's a ton of little details.

I worked on polishing up one of my other English papers so I can turn in a revised draft for an improved score next week, and while I was chipping away at that, The Wife came home with the boys. Soon after, we headed out to Mama China for dinner.  My wife and I have been trying to arrange a Chinese buffet night for some time now, but things keep falling through.  The big boy is old enough now that we have to pay for him, but that's fine... he likes the fruit, chicken, noodles, and sweets. He eats well when we go to "the cookie restaurant."  My wife also gets the buffet, but since I have such a limited capacity, I order a dish off the menu and will have leftovers for a week.  The 6 mo old "eats" free, so Michele lets him play with a few rice noodles, a smashed pea,  a grape cut into eighths, a section of mandarin orange cut up... and I joke "What, no pudding?"

The boy plays with the foods and considerably more of his tiny helping ends up on the floor than in his belly. When wifey goes up for seconds, she also comes back with tiny dollops of the 2 pudding flavors on their cold service bar.  She breaks out the baby spoon and readies a itty-bit of the chocolate pudding, and puts it in the child's mouth. He looks unhappy, drawing  an "Awwww" from his folks. Then there's a little cough and my wife says, "buddy, it's just pudding, I don't think there's anything there to choke on." And that was my 6 mo old's cue to spew like a fountain.

It came in three rapid volleys, and thankfully didn't draw much attention from the waitstaff or other guests. We cleaned him up, changed his clothes, wiped things down as well as we could with a pile of napkins and a few diaper wipes, and took the boys home.

On the way home my darling wife pointed out this was sort of a belated mother's day dinner, since that's about when our first Chinese Buffet plans starting getting derailed...  And that makes 2 mother's day dinners in a row that ended when one of our children puked on her. Last year, the one that was outside her belly at the time got sick at the steakhouse we were at with my parents on Mother's day. I told her next year we should get a baby sitter.

Disposal delima.

My 3 yr old was devastated. He came to me a sobbing, half naked, wreck. I had sent him into the bathroom to go potty before bed, and what ever had traumatized him occurred after he had taken his diaper off.  It took a few moments to coax words out between his wails, but eventually he let me know he needed his blankie back out of the trash.

I assured him everything would be okay warned him that his blankie may need a bath after it comes out of the trash, to prepare him for going to bed without his blankie tonight, then I went to go help my son retrieve his most sacred possession.

I figured he had foolishly fetched it from his room on the way to the bathroom, and had dropped it into the diaper-filled trashcan by accident... but once I laid eyes on the situation I realized my son's folly.  Buried under a layer of soiled diapers was a wash-worn, threadbare swath of white cloth that was not, in fact, his blankie.  It was, instead, a discarded pair of underwear that I had judged too loose to continue wearing because of my 110 pounds of weight loss in the last 3 months.  It probably should have died long ago on account of condition, but regardless it was tossed this morning. I showed him that his blankie was safe on his bed, and not in the trash. He went potty, put a nighttime diaper on, and climbed happily into bed to snuggle his blankie.

In an entirely unrelated note, there was a free health screening at work today.  I ranked in the lowest risk class for heart disease, with a less than 1% chance of suffering its effects within the next 10 years.

Cluster Hump

I stayed up last night making edits to a poster we keep with all the pictures and names of the supervisors, managers and administrators at the store I work at.  My company has low turnover for a retail environment, but... it's still retail... and promotions are always happening, so the poster needs frequent maintenance to stay up-to-date.  I realize at 11:30 last night I didn't copy down the new Assistant General Manager's last name, and don't know it.  I txt or Facebook msg the handful of co-workers who are both (1) up at that hour and (2) friendly enough with me to find it normal for me to contact them... None of them knew, either.

My 6 mo old was fussy and not sleeping at all last night. So even after I stopped being productive on the poster, there was no sleeping.  I crashed at 1am, but remember my wife getting out of bed to take care of the boy at 2... and 6.  I got up at 7 to start my day.

First thing I did was call work and get the A.GM's name.  Finish the poster. Go to order a print of it from my photo lab through our website... and the website is down.

TimeWarner is sometimes pretty wonky, and the gear running my wireless network at home isn't terribly reliable either... so I chalk it up to my connection, copy the JPEG to a thumb drive, and bring it with me to work.

Before I clock in, I show the image to the other A.GM, and she points out I forgot to remove a supervisor who transferred to another building. I forgot to mess with him in part because they haven't filled his position again yet.  oops.  She told me to print it anyway, and update it after the replacement is announced, probably later this week.

Oh, and she need to talk to me once I clock in.
Convenient she should mention that... it's time to clock in RIGHT NOW.

I hit the time-clock, go back into the office and get turned down for the position I applied for. Not really surprised, and I don't dislike where I am at, so it's not a huge deal for me, but still a little let down.

Get back to my photohut to find the company's photolab server's are down; it wasn't just my connection. No internet orders today ... and since the boss closed down early last night to run some maintenance on the printer, the 90 minute order delay had been in effect for all of the orders that had been downloaded to the lab before the web broke.

Which turned out to be a small blessing because even thought the Net orders were not comming in, I was soon to be running behind...  one of the paper-magizne bays on my printer was malfunctioning, and trying to diagnose and repair it was eating minutes... meanwhile the equipment we use to refill customer's printer ink cartridges was fritzing... and the phone was ringing 2 lines at a time with customers informing me they couldn't place online orders and demanding I either fix it or tell them how long the outage would last.

When it rains, it pours.

On the bright side... I HAVE lost more than 100 lbs. since I started...

A Whole New Person

I don't know how many people have asked whether I feel like a whole new person now... but it's a lot.

Honestly no, not at all.  I feel completely like myself.  It is easier to get up and down the stairs, to stand up out of couches and chairs, and to get off of the floor.  My stomach isn't preventing as much of my flexibility as it had recently, and I am sleeping better... but mentally, emotionally, and in several ways, physically, I am as I was, and as I will be. As of Monday I broke the 300 lb barrier. One I had not crossed since a few years before my 3 year old was born, and even then, the previous time only lasted one weigh-in before settling in around  320 for a while, then creeping back up to around 400 during the time before the surgery.

In order to maintian the suggested level of activity, I've committed to a year of Jujitsu/Judo lessons under Mr. Steve Kinser, at Mr. Steve Stillwell's dojo.  I'm encouraging everyone to join with me, and getting mixed results.  Most are balking at the price, which I really do understand, but it's still disappointing. I may have my supervisor on the hook though... I think it was due to having got her into the Dresden Files, where her favorite character is Karrin Murphy.  Muwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Just another day...

Texting - me to boss: How much must a customer DESERVE it before I am allowed to pluck her left eye from her inconsiderate skull? ... Hypothetically speaking.

boss to me: You can't do that, my friend. Sorry you had a bad one.

me to boss: Can I convince you to do it for me?

boss to me: lol, I don't know, man. I kinda need this job.

me to boss: I'll talk you into it in the morning.

Typically a 1/2 hour before we close, I start turning off all the equipment and cleaning up, counting down the cash register till and such. Once the doors close I take my paperwork up front and get it signed off on and my shift is over 5 minutes after the store closes.

I am not obligated to keep the machine running until 1/2 prior to close; being a 1 hour lab, 59 minutes until close and I could start shutting down and cleaning, but I generally like my customers and want to give them as much up-time as I reasonably can.

In an effort to bend over backwards in exceptional cases, I can sometimes hold out until just 15 minutes before close to shut down the equipment...  but that's about all I can really muster without going into unapproved overtime.  And now-a-days unapproved overtime is the only type of overtime there is, and it is frowned upon.

Tonight at T-minus 31 minutes until closing time, my phone is ringing.

I answer with my usual business greeting and on the other end of the line is a frantic mother who needs pictures tonight for her son's Eagle Court of Honor in the morning.

"A failure to plan on YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part." I thought, but did not say.

She asks if she can get an order to me in the next 5 minutes, if I could still have it ready for pickup tonight.  I explain that it depends on how many images are in the order and what sizes she is ordering; without knowing that I can't tell how long it will take to print.  She lets me know she needs about 30 5x7 lustre prints.  I tell her that IF she gets the order to me in the next 5 minutes I can still get that done tonight.

At 20 minutes until close she calls back and lets me know she just hit the send button, and asks if I have her order to print yet.  I do not, but manually tell my computer to pull new orders down from the server and it starts downloading...  all 174 images for her 4x6s, 5x5, 5x7s, and 8x10s...  I try to tell her I'm not certain this will all download and print before the store closes, and she says she'll be here in 10 minutes and can wait for them if they won't kick her out once she's inside, then hangs up...  Well, Fuck.

A part of me want to say 'Fuck-it' and shut everything down.  "Tried to tell you it wouldn't be done tonight, sorry." But I have a reputation as a photo-miracle-worker, and my lab has a reputation of being one of the best in the metro, and my company is known WORLD WIDE for treating it's customers exceptionally well... so I commit myself to making it happen...

I'm irritated but not at eye-plucking levels yet...

She gets there a few scant minutes before the doors go down, and wonders around our closed store while I finish up her order.  I'm packing them up at closed+10 when she comes back by to pick them up and pay.  As I'm ringing her up she says "You know, I really did order more than I'm going to be able to use, I can return the ones I don't need, right?" ... ... ...

Are you shitting me? ... not quite there yet...

"Ma'am, we offer a satisfaction guarantee on all of the products we produce; if for any reason you are dissatisfied with the quality of the work we did, we would offer you a refund for the product, but normally on a custom order of photographic prints we would expect you to want what you have ordered."

"So if I return them, tell them that they are too fuzzy?"

NOW... now is when I'm thinking, It wouldn't be homicide if I just ripped out one eye... she would live, she would even adapt to having a fairly normal life.  She could be a pirate for Halloween. She's EARNED it!

"Thank you very much for doing this for me tonight, most people wouldn't have."  You're damn strait most people wouldn't have and YOU'RE the REASON people don't want to help people.  I bend over backwards for you and whilst I'm contorted so, you try to find a way to slip a knife into my back!  Your son may be an Eagle Scout, but you, madam, are an awful human being.

One of the managers I hold in high regard once said something that stuck with me...  and it kept ringing in my head tonight: At our company "we bend over backwards for our customers, but don't bend over forwards for them!"  I feel like she's trying to give it to me up the ass in this one.

The road to recovery

Last night had a few unpleasantries in store for me. Coughing is becoming less frequent, but has not entirely subsided yet, and is certainly still uncomfortable, but then there is the product of the cough. There is really only two possibilities when nasal congestion or coughing produces a mouth full of mucous. Neither is actually polite conversation, but then you are not reading my blog for that, you are reading it to know what it's like for me to go through bariatric surgery (and other general aspects of life) and sometimes what happens is just not polite.  Most of my phlegm of late has be deposited into tissues, then trashcans. Some out car windows or on to the grassy area near sidewalks, but as I'm trying to pass out in bed last night at 2 in the morning, I was going with option two... until option two got full.  There just isn't enough volume in my stomach to swallow much snot right now, and while trying to fall asleep I hit the limit.  I didn't quite get sick, but I was certain I shouldn't even swallow down my saliva for awhile and I got up and spent some time in the bathroom in case I didn't keep it down, and to give me a place to deposit further slimeballs.

While in there I emptied my bladder to another awkward surprise. For the first time in my life I experienced dick-farts. I warned you this wasn't going to be polite. As I was finishing my steam tapered and waned as expected, and at the end there was a sputtering as I peed air.  I knew gas in my system was causing me problems, but I had not yet considered every means for it's escape yet. That caught me completely off guard. It wasn't until almost 4 when I finally passed out in my armchair. My wife didn't say anything to me about it, but I think she was a little resentful that I wasn't more help in the morning before she took the boys in to daycare at noon.

Today was the first day I could start adding stuff to my intake, my wife had bought me some smooth, low-fat Greek yogurt, one of the suggested foods, and my first few spoonfuls were quite delightful. It was vanilla flavored, and it occurred to me that I still had minimum protein goals and my protein powder was also vanilla. So I mixed in a bout 1/4 serving of protein powder.  Much less tasty then. The two vanillas were not compatible. But 3-4 spoonfuls was all I was going to accomplish anyway, so I foiled up the top and put it back in the fridge.

Got out and about some today. I haven't taken my Rx pain meds since Wednesday, and I can turn plenty well enough to check my blind spots, so I took the van out and deposited a check we had, ran into the Independence Costco and replaced my hair trimmer since OP didn't have any left and buying them at Costco is still cheaper than a haircut. Went to a Halmark store and got my darling wife a Valentines card that I thought she'd appreciate. Then came home and buzzed my clown hairdo back to a normal bald-guy cut and reshaped my beard.  I wasn't done cleaning up the bathroom yet when the wife and kiddos got home.  The two year old was in a constant state of pestering Mom for some of the candy he got at school today, once she was the slightest bit settled in, she acquiesced to a single dose of sugar, and when the begging was reestablished moments later, she insisted the next dose would not be administered prior to dinner.

The boy was displeased by this response. To help redirect his energy I got his shoes and coat back on him and we ambled around the block talking extensively about trees and trucks and fire hydrants. When we returned home I directed him to the back yard where I pushed him on his swing until the chill and dark were enough for me and I told him it was time to go inside again.  He conned me into waiting long enough for him to take a trip down the slide first, then we went in where Mom was almost done making a big old pot of mac & cheese (semi-from-scratch) and some spanikopita.  I made about a third of a packet of instant oatmeal, plain. Not fair, is it.


 I decided that since 1% milk hit my "okay" list today, that I'd pick some up to mix up my protein drinks and oatmeal.  Also decided I would make my Wifey a nice romantic dinner for one tomorrow for Valentines night, and was going to pick up some asparagus spears as a side to the salmon fillet.  So after we put the 2 year old to bed for the first time, I went out to the grocery store. My okay list also includes pureed fruit, so I picked up blueberries and strawberries and some per-pureed gerber prunes... hey someone's got to poop again some day, ya know?

When I got to the milk isle I wasn't certain I was feeling like a whole gallon would be in order... So I was looking at the quarts and half gallons, and I noticed the local, hormone free, Shatto brand of milk there in the glass bottles.  I know a few people who advocate for that brand of milk, but I was feeling a little frugal so I went back to looking at the A&E, Highland Dairy, and Price Chopper brands... and soon realized that the Shatto was the cheaper choice, too. I bought 2 pints. I sipped one on the trip home.  It tasted like milk... not like the nothing some other milks taste like, this had milk flavor to it. I'm pretty darned happy with my choice.

There's a rumbley in my tumbly.

One thing I did not expect from my surgery was all of the gas. It is the source of the majority of my discomfort. Today, in addition to belching, I have added farting to my gas relief repertoire, which I'm lead to believe is a good sign following any surgery involving the digestive system. Even so, the combination of these two activities has been insufficient to provide any lasting relief. How much air is inside of me, anyway? Luckily though, today did mark the day that urination stopped stinging, so that was a blessing.

My weigh-in today was a dramatic downward shift, landing me at 336.6.

Keeping my 2 year old from using me as a jungle gym is going to be a challenge. He's used to a lot of lap time, and playing horsey and things I just can't do right now, and though we explain it, I don't think he really understands... but in due time I will be able to play more actively with him than I ever could have before. The time is coming boy, just be patient.

Nearly forgot my blood thinner shot tonight.  They ain't so bad.  I really don't even feel the tiny needle going in. 2 down, 5 to go for those.

Tomorrow I can begin adding a few things to my intake.  I can start using protein shakes again, and I can make them with milk if I want. I can have smooth, lite yogurt and Greek yogurt - without fruit chunks. I can have babyfood. I can have cream-based soups after they've been strained, and I can have runny oatmeal.  Add that to my clear liquids and you have my diet for the next week. I am looking forward to week two when I can have an egg, cottage cheese, or refried beans as well.

Shave his Belly with a Rusty Razor.

When I weighed in today after coming home from the hospital. I  was 5 lbs heaver then when I went in...  They removed 90% of one of my organs, I consumed nothing for 36 hours, and I put on weight... That's so unfair!  I realize the swollen tissues are holding on to extra water and as the swelling subside the water weight will flush out and I'll get a more accurate weigh in... but still.

After dropping the boys off with my Sis and Dad down at my parents place, Mom my wife and I headed off to hospital - we got there about 20 minutes before they asked us to show up, but they got me checked right in and I lumped summed my estimated out-of-pocket expenses after insurance. Was about $685. I'll still have to pay the anesthesiologist separately, and owe for the psychiatric evaluation yet. All of my follow up appointments will have a co-pay too... but all told it's a lot better than paying out-of-pocket for the entire procedure!

I'm told I was in the surgery room about an hour, about 30 minutes of that was actual surgery, the other half was involving putting me under and waking me up. Then I was in a recovery room for another 45 minutes or so, then they moved me to a patient room. My wife stayed with me most of the day, and Mom, Dad, Sis and my Nephews and sons were all there at some point... but the painkillers they had me on meant I kept dozing off.  I'm glad they were there, but feel guilty I didn't interact with them a little more, or let them know they were appreciated.

I still have my phlegm-producing cough, now with abdominal wounds, that sucks quite a lot. In the hospital it got to the point where if I thought a cough was coming, I'd try to fight it off and press my little self-dose pain button so that once I did go, I'd feel it less.

They shaved my belly prior to surgery.  I kept thinking of that verse from "What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?"  It's already stubbly now.  It's going to itch as it grows back in. grumble.

Also, my stretchmarks were pulled taught, and opened up, and some new one formed, etc... which felt weird to see since I'm down nearly 50 lbs from 2 weeks ago and THEN get new stretchmarks, but oh well.

The first nurse to take my blood for labs mentioned something about having a perfect record so far, until missing my vein. She had to get the more experienced nurse in to do it.  2nd nurse had no trouble at all "Well look at that gusher! you may be my new favorite patient!"

With the exception of some acute moments like coughing or bending too far, my soreness has been much less than things I had done to myself in the past - like recovering from the ab workouts during the first week of swim season each year, or even some of the ab days in Karate class.

This was my first experience with a catheter. 3 or 4 people mentioned that with a catheter in you always feel like you need to pee... I didn't really experience that. When it came to removing it the nurse warned be that getting all that tape off of my hairy inner thigh would be the worst part... then RIIIP. and to her amazement I didn't really flinch at that.  Then she used a syringe to remove the fluid from the balloon in the catheter that held it in place, and reminded me to breath while she pulled it out.  The reminder did no good, and she lied about the tape being the worst part. My brain refused to allow breathing to happen for the second and half that tube was being pulled out of me at 5am today... and since then peeing has be uncomfortable. This has made me so very glad I never contracted Chlamydia.

Removing the catheter was probably the least pleasant moment of the hospital stay, and a close second was when they removed the drain tube from my side. Having that rubbery hose slide out through a hole in your body that didn't exist the day before is an unsettling, discomfortable experience.

Much of the discomfort I'm having in my belly has to do with gas.  Belching has become a new pastime.

After the wifey took me home, she left again to fill my prescriptions. Turns out the Pharmacy where I work did not have nearly enough Hydrocodone Bitartrate and Acetaminophen oral solution to fill that script, we had them call the other 3 pharmacies we run in this market, and still a no go.  There is a grocery store that our insurance will give us a break on, though if we need to use their pharm, and one of their locations had enough on hand... Seems like it was an odd amount to perscirbe though, I got one full bottle that the pharmacy usually divides into smaller bottles for patients, and 25ml more in a separate bottle.  Ironically it's labeled "Take with food."

I'm on an all clear-liquid diet today and tomorrow. I really didn't feel up to eating anything today anyway, so that's been fine.

I assume it must be somehow related, but after I was at home for several hours this morning, I got the first nosebleed I've had in many years. As a matter of fact, I cannot recall having a nose bleed that could not be contributed to being hit in the face.  It subsided after about 2 minutes or so, but it was odd.

Bending over to change my 2 year old's diaper tonight sent a sharp pain through one of the incision sites. It prompted me to take a dose of my pain meds.  In addition to those, I have a blood thinner I inject into my bellyfat daily for a week. Nausea tablets that one dissolves under their tongue, and an daily stomach acid controller - an Rx version of Prilosec, they say.

I think the Hydrocodone is trying to put me to sleep... or maybe it just late and I didn't get much sleep with them checking my vitals every 2 hrs last night... either way, I'm going to hit the hay.

I'm not lying anymore...

This morning my nekkid weight was 350.6 lbs. My driver's license  is accurate for the first time in about half a decade. Well see what my clothed weight is at the Dr.s office and how it compares to my 397 back on Jan 26. It's 7:20 here now, and everything is running a little ahead of my itinerary at the moment, so that's good, too.

Timeline

T-minus 12 hrs 'till dissection.
I should be asleep now... but I just ain't feeling it, ya know?

Thought today: when somebody seems amazed at how well I'm doing after surgery, I'm going to say "It takes more than being stabbed in the gut 5 times and having one of my internal organs carved out to slow ME down!" We'll see how often I can work that one into conversations.

You run and you run to catch up to the sun, but it's sinking

Itenerary working backwards...
-Surgery starts at 11:00 am.
-I need to be there by 9:45 am.
Google says 30 minutes drive time from parents house to the hospital w/o traffic...
-Leave parents house by 9:05 am
Dropping the kiddos with Beba and Papa and getting their well-wishes and stuff will probably take at least 10 min
-Be at 'rents house by 8:55 am.
Driving from my place to the 'rents through the Grandview Triange... a.k.a. the SKCCF...40 minutes.
-Leave home by 8:15 am
45 minutes to get the 2 year old awake, fed, and dressed to leave. During which time we can prep the 3 mo. old...
-Start wrangling kids by 7:30 am.
10 minutes to get self dressed in loose fitting clothes
-Out of shower & dried off by 7:20 am
20 min Shower with special pre-surgery soap
-In shower by 7:00 am.
Snoozing and slowly waking from the sleep of the dead takes about 20 min.
-Set alarm for 6:40 am
wouldn't hurt to be running 10 minutes early
-Set alarm for 6:30 am instead...

Hmmm.  well then... I have to have a pre-surgery-super-soap shower tonight before bed too...

All of the sudden I am feeling a little more sleepy than I thought.  I think I'll shower and hit the hay.

Pause

So yeah, dropping 30 lbs in a little more than a week is cool and all, but when you don't lose anything from one day to the next, it's a minor disappointment when you're a fat guy not eating anything at all. I was looking at my weight loss rate and was thinking things like "I'll actually weigh what my driver's license says I do by the time I have surgery," and things like that. Then I weighed in at 359.8 ... not at all bad accept the day before was 359.6.  My disappointment was too mild to note, until the next day when I stepped on the scale and it read 359.8, again. Bummer.  I tried mentioning to my wife that stalling sucks after POUNDS every day for weeks, but the sympathy well was dry. "30 pounds in a week!" she responded. The next day... still 359... getting grumpy about it.

Last night I dreamt about realizing I was accidentally cheating on my liquid-only diet after snacking, then going "Oh, well! screw it!" and binging for the rest of the day. It was gloriously grotesque gluttony.

This morning I woke up 4 minutes before my alarm because I had to head to the restroom. After being attacked by my bowels for 15 minutes... I weighed in today at 352.6.  I may make it down to my DL weight of 350 by surgery after all.

Why is it possible to be stopped up and have a runny nose at the same time? The sore throat and dry-but-phlegm-producing cough are getting pretty old too. Is it feed a cold and starve the flu or feed the flu and starve a cold-oh wait... I last ate 12 days ago and wont eat anything I can chew again for  10 more days yet... then I can try a soft-cooked egg, non-fat refried beans, or cottage cheese. Hmm, chewing there is still optional... lets look further ahead. In 18 days I can begin trying to work foods I would chew back into my diet.  I should mark my calendar.

Meanwhile, I think my 2 year old is trying to skip meals now because Daddy isn't eating. But buddy-boy, how am I supposed to live vicariously through you if neither of us are eating?  I think I'm going to go play some pac-man.

Photo Throwdown!

I need to put my ass-kicking boots on!

My photolab no longer has the equipment to develop film into negatives.  I can print from negatives and I can digitize them and save them to a disc (16Base Resolution 2048 x 3072). If you come to me with a roll of film, I send you to one of two local, independently owned photo labs that do good work. It costs more than we used to, but it's how they have been able to afford to keep offering that service when it was no longer cost effective for us.

Today, a customer returns from having visited one of these two labs and lets me know that the worker there was bad-mouthing the work we do.  Not only that, but spreading falsehoods about it. My customer had her film processed there but was going to have it digitized with us because we charge a pittance of what the independent lab does for the same resolution scan. Their staff member asked her if she was going to bring us her film and she affirmed that she was. Then the employee told her when we scan negatives we destroy them afterwards instead of returning the film. (Not True) My customer said if she had the scans she couldn't care if she got her negatives back, she was using us anyway. Then the employee misinformed my customer that we send them off to China to be scanned. (Ridiculous) I think she has my company confused with a different, less wholesome, retail giant. After all the work I've sent them, and with all the effort we put into producing a quality product, I expect more respect from the workers there.

AAMOF this post is now a few days late because instead of polishing it up and posting it, I sent an E-mail to the owner of the little independent photo lab...  He responded that their employee meant no malice, and was working under misinformation.  Furthermore he personally loves shopping at our place and finds folk there friendly and helpful.

On Stupidity

Today, I was teaching a customer how to operate the photo kiosk, and she apologized for being so stupid, and posited that it must drive me nuts dealing with stupid people, like her, all day long. Firstly, if helping my customers drove me to insanity, I would have had to choose between a career change and the madhouse long ago. Secondly, only a small portion of my day is actually spent assisting customers to place their orders. Producing the orders, order pickups, shipping and receiving vendor orders, cleaning, maintenance, and other tasks all take time too. Even if my job was primary manning the service counter, only a small portion of my customers need help in placing an order, so the annoyance factor is often negligible. Finally, I did not find her to be nearly as dunderheaded as she considered herself. Her questions were reasonable for someone using certain features of the equipment for the first time. Not everything the programmers included in the newest kiosk update is intuitive for everybody.

I get someone like her, making some comment like that nearly once a week. In some cases there is a certain amount of stuidity... or at least carelessness or inattention involved that required my intervention, but as often as not my customers confuse ignorance with stupidity.

Ignorance, unless willful, is a far sight different from stupidity, which would indicate to me an inability or unwillingness to either understand or retain a significant portion of information provided. Not knowing something is not an indicator that someone is stupid. Being unable or unwilling to learn something, might.

If you come in and have new questions for me every time you visit, I am unlikely to think you witless. If you come in often and ask the very same questions each and every time, you will be treated kindly and well served, but in the silence of my heart I may judge you to be simple.

Chicken Noodleless Soup for the Soul

Pangs of hunger persist.
I was feeling it pretty acutely by the time I got home from work tonight. I had jello in the fridge, so I ate that first, since it was ready. It was probably somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 packages worth.  Then I nuked and salted a can of Swanson's low-sodium chicken broth. That seemed pretty tasty, so I did it again.

All told today's intake was:
3 packages (12 servings) of sugar free Jello
3 servings of Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey from Whey Isolates - French Vanillia
3/4 Gallon of filtered tap water
2 cans of Swanson's low-sodium chicken broth. + ~2 tbs salt.

So what's that? About 500 calories?  Doc probably actually expects me below that, I would guess.  That's a lot of Jello today. I was kinda playing with my Jello today; spooning it out of the middle instead of the edges, in such a way it would "sloorrrrup" as you pulled it out, then dug out from the bottom of my jello pit to see how long the overhang could hold on before it collapsed like a cliff being undercut by the sea. With my lunch Jello I used a knife to cut a checkerboard pattern into the jello, then tried to lift out ever other column.  What can I say... if the food can't TASTE interesting, perhaps it can be entertaining.


There was a Shake-up at work this week.  Some of the people up the food chain from me are being moved to other buildings and we are getting a new assistant manager in. It just dawned on me today that I need to nab a head shot of him for the security poster I maintain for the building, and need to edit the two that are leaving off of it.  I'll get on that this week.

My co-worker was a no-show for the electrical work again today. I ran into him at work, even though it was his day off, he needed to run some errands there today. He had a meeting he had to go to this morning. "I should have called and let you know, man. Sorry. But Monday for sure!" When did this meeting get set up? He asked me if Friday morning worked good for me just this Wednesday night. Oh well, I didn't really expect him to show anyway. I won't be offering him future projects.

STFU Scale

You know what? Screw you bathroom scale!
Today it said I was at 356. What? There is no feasible way.  Reset the scale and try again... 362... again -- 374.4. I tried 3 more time and it was all 374s after that... WTF was the deal with the first two readings, I mean... seriously.

Divine piggy

Yesterday I made my 2 year old a half Brobeck's-ham-salad sandwich for breakfast.  He ate about 2 bites and said he didn't want any more, he wanted some of my Jello instead.  I shared a few bites of my jello with him and asked if he was going to finish his sandwich, because if not we would have to throw it away.  "I do it!" he said, then tossed it in the garbage.  That stung a little. The ham salad from Brobeck's Barbeque is nearly a sacred thing. Prior to my mandatory diet, I would have finished it for him.

I made him another one today, which he ate entirely.  I noted how difficult it is to serve the ham salad to others without being able to partake. I could never work for Doug Brobeck now. Another challenge from today was the aroma of dinner in the oven.  It was basically a crust-less quiche; eggs, sausage, cheese, some kale, and seasoning. The wafting scent was mouthwatering... and I had some more chicken stock. All of my whey isolate today was well blended and cold; both make it more palatable.  I'm pretty sure the makers meant for it to be mixed with milk instead of water...   Hmm...  Might try it with orange flavored G2 Gatorade to see if it comes out ANYTHING AT ALL like the creamsicle Rum-orade I used to drink on the float trip... That sounds like a plan!

I must have plenty of protein in my system, I seem to be eliminating some of it when I urinate, as evidence by the exceptional frothy foam that now sometimes develops. It may have been in part because I hadn't had any actual water yet at that point in the day - just Jell-o, whey protein, and chicken stock. I drank 4 glasses of water and 2 bottles of water since, plus more of the proteiny things.

Tomorrow I am supposed to have a co-worker over to do some electrical work.  He's made plans to show up here about 10 times, and has made it out twice. Once to scope it out, and once to put in a 1/2 days worth of work. I'm not terribly confident he'll be here tomorrow.