Why is it possible to be stopped up and have a runny nose at the same time? The sore throat and dry-but-phlegm-producing cough are getting pretty old too. Is it feed a cold and starve the flu or feed the flu and starve a cold-oh wait... I last ate 12 days ago and wont eat anything I can chew again for  10 more days yet... then I can try a soft-cooked egg, non-fat refried beans, or cottage cheese. Hmm, chewing there is still optional... lets look further ahead. In 18 days I can begin trying to work foods I would chew back into my diet.  I should mark my calendar.

Meanwhile, I think my 2 year old is trying to skip meals now because Daddy isn't eating. But buddy-boy, how am I supposed to live vicariously through you if neither of us are eating?  I think I'm going to go play some pac-man.

Chicken Noodleless Soup for the Soul

Pangs of hunger persist.
I was feeling it pretty acutely by the time I got home from work tonight. I had jello in the fridge, so I ate that first, since it was ready. It was probably somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 packages worth.  Then I nuked and salted a can of Swanson's low-sodium chicken broth. That seemed pretty tasty, so I did it again.

All told today's intake was:
3 packages (12 servings) of sugar free Jello
3 servings of Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey from Whey Isolates - French Vanillia
3/4 Gallon of filtered tap water
2 cans of Swanson's low-sodium chicken broth. + ~2 tbs salt.

So what's that? About 500 calories?  Doc probably actually expects me below that, I would guess.  That's a lot of Jello today. I was kinda playing with my Jello today; spooning it out of the middle instead of the edges, in such a way it would "sloorrrrup" as you pulled it out, then dug out from the bottom of my jello pit to see how long the overhang could hold on before it collapsed like a cliff being undercut by the sea. With my lunch Jello I used a knife to cut a checkerboard pattern into the jello, then tried to lift out ever other column.  What can I say... if the food can't TASTE interesting, perhaps it can be entertaining.


There was a Shake-up at work this week.  Some of the people up the food chain from me are being moved to other buildings and we are getting a new assistant manager in. It just dawned on me today that I need to nab a head shot of him for the security poster I maintain for the building, and need to edit the two that are leaving off of it.  I'll get on that this week.

My co-worker was a no-show for the electrical work again today. I ran into him at work, even though it was his day off, he needed to run some errands there today. He had a meeting he had to go to this morning. "I should have called and let you know, man. Sorry. But Monday for sure!" When did this meeting get set up? He asked me if Friday morning worked good for me just this Wednesday night. Oh well, I didn't really expect him to show anyway. I won't be offering him future projects.

Divine piggy

Yesterday I made my 2 year old a half Brobeck's-ham-salad sandwich for breakfast.  He ate about 2 bites and said he didn't want any more, he wanted some of my Jello instead.  I shared a few bites of my jello with him and asked if he was going to finish his sandwich, because if not we would have to throw it away.  "I do it!" he said, then tossed it in the garbage.  That stung a little. The ham salad from Brobeck's Barbeque is nearly a sacred thing. Prior to my mandatory diet, I would have finished it for him.

I made him another one today, which he ate entirely.  I noted how difficult it is to serve the ham salad to others without being able to partake. I could never work for Doug Brobeck now. Another challenge from today was the aroma of dinner in the oven.  It was basically a crust-less quiche; eggs, sausage, cheese, some kale, and seasoning. The wafting scent was mouthwatering... and I had some more chicken stock. All of my whey isolate today was well blended and cold; both make it more palatable.  I'm pretty sure the makers meant for it to be mixed with milk instead of water...   Hmm...  Might try it with orange flavored G2 Gatorade to see if it comes out ANYTHING AT ALL like the creamsicle Rum-orade I used to drink on the float trip... That sounds like a plan!

I must have plenty of protein in my system, I seem to be eliminating some of it when I urinate, as evidence by the exceptional frothy foam that now sometimes develops. It may have been in part because I hadn't had any actual water yet at that point in the day - just Jell-o, whey protein, and chicken stock. I drank 4 glasses of water and 2 bottles of water since, plus more of the proteiny things.

Tomorrow I am supposed to have a co-worker over to do some electrical work.  He's made plans to show up here about 10 times, and has made it out twice. Once to scope it out, and once to put in a 1/2 days worth of work. I'm not terribly confident he'll be here tomorrow.

Savor the Flavor

Well, I weighed in today and after nearly 3 food-less days (2 full days of a liquid diet and 1 day where I had to fast prior to a blood draw the day before my diet officially started, so just dinner that night) My undressed, post-potty weight this morning was 370.0, down from 397 dressed... hmm, what did I have in my pockets at the Doctor's office?

This morning the first thing I ate was one cup of Jello then I nuked up a mug of our homemade chicken stock.  I knew we didn't salt it when we made it, so I added plenty to my mug and mixed it in...  too much. It was like licking the flavor packet out of a pack of chicken ramen. Diluted it with about another 3/4 mug of stock and it was about right.  The chicken stock may be the most satisfying thing I've "eaten" so far on this liquid diet, and I think I get why.  There was two major differences between the stock and everything else.  First, it was hot.  My first hot meal in days. Second, it was savory. My protein powder has a vanilla flavor and all the jello is sweetened fruit flavors. Before all of this, I was always more prone to pick savory, meaty foods over desserts.  I like candy, icecream, pie, cake, et. al., but would usually choose another helping of meat and potatoes instead.

The Hunger Games - Day 2.

Today's high in KC was 70* with an expected overnight low of 40*
Tomorrow's forecast: high of 45*
Snow this weekend.

Well, today continued to suck... but it's sucking with a purpose.

Being on an all liquid diet means I used the restroom at each break today at work, and twice at the restaurant, and when I got home.  Food has perforated, penetrated, and permeated every thought today. I am an addict, I have no doubt. I wonder if food withdraw has any of the same symptoms that other drugs withdraws present. Food is a drug: a chemical substance used in the treatment, cure, prevention, or diagnosis of disease or used to otherwise enhance physical or mental well-being. I got Demian pretty good when he was popping cheezits like pills earlier today and I deadpaned, "Are you really just going to eat those in front of me right now?"  The bug-eyed look on his face when he was suddenly guilt-stricken for eating in front of the fat-man-stuck-on-an-all-liquid-diet was deliciously satisfying.  I only let him just begin his stammering apology before I let him know I was just messing with him.

My constant fat-man hunger gave way to EAT-YOU-DAMN-FOOL about 12:30 today... my lunch break wasn't until 1:40.  Next work day I need to consume something during my first break, I think. But nothing that takes too long to prepare and ingest, because I gotta leave time for peeing, too. My poor kidneys are going to have the biggest workout of their life.

The protein drink I mixed up at work today was the worst one yet. I couldn't get the clumps out... but my mustache strained the largest offenders from the mix... felt like it was full of boogers. I ripped several hairs out vigorously attacking the goop with a paper towel afterwards.  The peach jell-o was acceptable though.

Old Chicago wasn't awful. The waitress we've gotten most often recently, is a gal from my graduating class who, like me, was heavy then and as struggled with it since, and we had warned her about my dietary restrictions.  She's so proud of me. I'm an inspiration. She started a new weight management plan this week.  Anyway. My 3 glasses of ice-tea is on the okay list and I dumped some protein powder into a glass of water and choked that down, too. I let Matt and Ally, and James and Beth in on the fact that bariatric was looming. After dinner Sean and Xander played and played. They had a grand time together, really.

And for those of you who really want TMI, this morning marked the switchover to loose stools. Just one more indignity and discomfort to endure in order to make serious change a reality. My future holds far fewer broken toilet seats than my past. No more leaning against a car and collapsing it's fender. No more riding without buckling up because the seat belts won't fit. I can hardly imagine what an airline flight would be like without an extended girth-strap. The ability to slip between people in a crowd. Room for comfort at concerts, movies and live events -- which reminded me that Weird Al tickets are for sale... Hmm... $260 ea. for guaranteed seating in 1st 5 rows, center section, with a meet-and-greet with Al plus some signed merchandise. Tempting, but my wife might revolt... I should discuss this one with her.

I think I'll go enjoy the sublime torture of a litany of Weird Al food songs accompanied by belly rumbles before bed tonight!

Shot in KC - (c)2013 JMRjr