Toddlers are still Assholes

So Tuesday afternoon's karate class was a complete disaster. Mr Kinser, my Jujitsu instructor, was subbing in for Mr. Stillwell, while he and his wife went to a baseball game for her birthday. There was a new student in Minion's class. She is quite a bit older than him... maybe 7 or 8, and has a teenage sister who had been a student of Mr Stillwell's in the past. She wasn't just happy or excited to be there... she was giddy.  She bounced in place clapping and giggling with the energy of a dozen Jack Russle Terrier Puppies radiating off of her.

It was contagious. Minion was hopelessly unfocused before class ever started. 2 other little boys showed up and they were relatively clam and focused. The girl kept getting out of line, but a word or two from Mr. Kinser and she'd snap back into proper behavior. Not my boy, however. As soon as she acted goofy, he had to one up her, and no words were going to pull him back in line that day. While concepts were being explained, he'd wonder off to play with the punching bag.  While students were practicing kicks, he was rolling around on the floor.  This was the least cooperative I had ever seen him in class.  He was being a little asshole to MY instructor. It was mortifying.

Well see how this afternoon goes.

Today he told me, "When you fall down you do it on the mat so you don't break your head." Wise words, little man, wise words.  I did explain to him that practicing on the mat, to keep your head safe when you fall, is so that when you DO fall when there isn't a mat, you do it right so that you won't break your head.

I let him use gardening shears to prune our fence line today, until it started raining on us.

Do larks really look happier than other birds?

Nugget is still less interesting to talk about.  He ate strawberry puree. He pooped. He played with a big plastic ring. His ear infection doesn't seem to concern him one little bit. Happy as a lark.

So far, the first week of Economics class seems to be off to a good enough start. No news there, really.  I aught to be working on my first paper for that class, or prepping for my quiz instead of blogging, but... screw that. I wanna get a blog post up, so here I am.

You don't here me talk politics very much...  and you probably won't going forward. It's not my thing. I am generally in agreement with the late great Douglas Adams; anyone capable of being elected into office should never be entrusted with the job.  I have lost all respect for politicians and the politcal process. I consider myself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal; like the Koch brothers.  Unlike them, I am unwilling to support bat-shit crazy candidates who oppose my social views in order to elect the people who support my fiscal views.

So far in this election the only candidate I have any actual respect for is Bernie Sanders, because he has zero interest in talking about other candidates, and wants to focus on policies and issues.  He's not out fundraising, he's out campaigning on his policies.  I don't agree with all of them. But it has been refreshing to see someone who has dropped the rhetoric and mudslinging down to normal human levels and talks about issues when running for office.

I have some other things to discuss, like my weight, gut issues, pooping... Potty training toddlers...  "What to do around Kansas City" ... Ya know, stuff.

But it sounds from here like nap time is over for both of the little ones... so that will all have to be in another post or two.

Some Hard Lessons

Two lessons I learned in Judo last night: When your back is finally feeling good, don't try to struggle your way out of kesa gatame, and it is distinctly unpleasent to have your right (migi) gonad trod upon. Neither lesson will have resulted in permanent damage.

On a less unpleasant note, Nugget doesn't have Chicken Pox, his rash is some other unidentified but non-contagious virus according to his pediatrician.  And looks like the antibiotics didn't clear up his ear infection... or he has a new one. Either way - new meds for the tiny guy.

Enrolled Minion in swim lessons that start at the beginning of July. I feel guilty he hasn't been around water more.  At his age he aught to be comfortable swimming.  His Karate classes are going great, he pays decent attention when there are no other students there!  He's been getting private lessons pretty often right now because Blue Valley Rec is in-between sessions, and a lot of Mr. Stillwell's students come in through them.  All the better for Minion.

The A from my Comp II class is on my transcript now.  Brings me up over a 3.0
GPA again.  I have Economics over the summer semester, and I think I may re-take Algebra in the fall to mend my grade in it.  I was a smart-ass when I originally took it and tried to game the system. It sort of worked.  I showed up twice and got a high enough grade to count towards my degrees... but it won't transfer, and disallows me to take further mathematics courses if I wanted to. Getting a D is just not good enough.  There are a few other courses that I had failed in my youth that re-taking would improve my GPA even more, but they are less important for further schooling, if I choose to go that route.

I did apply to graduate following the summer semester.  Once Economics is complete, I will have met the requirements for an A.A. in Liberal Arts, and A.G.S. in General Studies, and an A.S. in General Sciences.

Well, didn't see THAT coming.

Something unexpected happened yesterday at work; they named me the Employee of the Month for April.  My department saw it's busiest month ever outside of a Christmas season, and we did it understaffed due to an employee quitting without notice, but still, I wasn't expecting that. As a matter of fact, my supervisor and I had been conspiring to recognize the employee who did the most to bail us out of out bind, and who we consequently hired out of his current department and into ours.  When I asked her if he had gotten it, she was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Congratulations," she said, "I nominated YOU instead, and you were voted in!" Apparently I beat out 5 other nominees, and 4 managers had planned to nominate me.

So a selfie for the EoM board it is.

Today had some moments in it. The little karateka did alright in class today, but was still distracted like a 3 year old. Afterwards I took a detour on the way home and checked out 2 options for tots swim lessons, because he aught to know the basic water safety stuff, and have a calm happy relationship with water... right now I'm pretty sure if he fell in, he would panic.  Not good, and it's something that as a former WSI I feel pretty guilty about. Still shopping after looking at those.

We stopped at BK for lunch.  I got a Jr. Whopper for me and an order of chicken fries for the boy. I stole one of his fries, ate most of my sandwich... for the last 2 bites worth, I ditched the rest of the bun and just ate the innards.  I should have done that from the get-go... I over ate. Oui! So Full!  No good.  Can't keep it all in...  That happens sometimes now when I eat too quickly, or just plain don't stop when I really should (but there's only one bite left!)  So I pull over in a parking lot, near a dumpster...  I position myself between some landscaping and the wall of the dumpster enclosure, so no passerbys are likely to witness the disgustingness, and everything will land on grass where Mother Nature will take care of it over time, and with it being right next to the dumpster, it's unlikely the smell will be the strongest odor in the area... I figured it was as fortunate a spot for an unfortunate occurrence as I was likely to get.  Of course all of this parking and noticing and thinking happened in the span of a few brief seconds before lunch, which was my first meal today, came back up.  Just after it did I see a sudden movement from a space about a foot to the left of where it had landed. A previously unnoticed Blue Jay cocked his head at me and gave me an angry glare.

I apologized to him for puking in his home and possibly hitting him with some splatter... He squawked angerily and hopped deeper into the brush.

Once I finally got home, we reviewed some of the karate stuff with the boy, fed the baby, let the kids watch some TV and Play with some toys for a bit before nap time.  Then I worked on wrapping up the last of my papers for my Comp II course.  I have an unfortunate history of signing up for Comp II and then not going to many of the classes, not doing the papers and the like...  I have 4 Fs on my college transcript with Comp II next to them...  Not this time though.  I attended ever single session - including the one the day after I was stabbed 5 times and had an internal organ carved out of me.  Every paper has been written, revised, revised and revised and it is likely the two I turned in tonight are DONE.  If so I have an A in the class and it's over.  I'll find out when I show up Thursday.  If they need further revision, I have 3 hours Thursday to accomplish that. Regardless, I have defeated the dreaded COMP II beast, and can move on.

After I trekked up to the college to turn in the papers, I went off to Judo, where Mr Kinser finally remembered to bring in the list of belt requirements for me to take home and study. Class went well, we covered most of the techniques for the 2nd (of 5) test for the 2nd belt.  While we were in class Mr. Paul Hearter, one of Mr. Kinser's black belts, showed up to chat with Mr. Stilwell, so I hung out after class to listen in to their chatter.  I love hearing the Bushidokan old guard talk.

I think I crapped my brains out.

Hmm, does that mean I have sh*t for brains? ... Probably.

Honestly, the mental mistakes began yesterday night as I was getting ready for bed.  I knew it was Thursday night, but for some reason I had Wednesday's schedule in my head, and I set my alarm with plenty of time to get the boys to daycare and make it to work by 9:30.

When my alarm went off I heard my wife getting the 3 year old ready to leave... "Oh yeah, it's Friday-- she takes the bigger buddy boy in on her way into work today." *SNOOZE* but before too much longer my gut grumbled greasily and I knew I had to get up.

What I didn't know yet was that I was going to make an attempt to propel myself into orbit with a hydrolic jet.  I felt awful. Among other things, I was feeling guilty for soiling the toilet.  When Mom had come over yesterday to help with the kids, she had scrubbed it clean... and this was... unclean.  The type of unclean where I needed Clorox wipes to clean the underside of the toilet seat.

I had weighed myself before I sat down. Once I was finally done and cleaned up, I got back on the scale. I had lost 1.6 lbs. And then, I wasn't done anymore. Round two struck. while that worked it's way through my system, I posted to FB and called in to work - there was no way I was going to make it by 9:30 in this condition. In between my 3rd and 4th bouts I tracked down some Imodium.

I found some irony in calling in today.  I had seriously considered playing hookey on Wed to get a research paper written for school, but I just couldn't do it.  Work needs me, and I am a responsible adult, and a reliable person, and all that jazz. I have a duty. Today doodie was more important than duty.  I didn't call in on Wed, but spent all day Thurs before class grinding on it, and got it to an acceptable enough place that after only a few in-class revisions the instructor dubbed it an A worthy paper... Now I call in on my NEXT shift instead, when I'm not under the gun.

Last time I was late getting the 6mo old to daycare, they were concerned, so once I felt it was safe to venture more than a minute from the bathroom, I packed up the baby, gave him the last his anti-ear-infection meds and a bottle, and headed to daycare.

As I was pulling into the parking lot I thought about how I always check in on the 3 yr old when I drop the baby off, and see how he's acting at lunch time...  but it's pretty darned early for lunch, isn't it?  This is when I first realize that this is FRIDAY and that means I should be on FRIDAY'S schedule... I wouldn't typically drop Nugget off for another hour and a half, because I'm not scheduled to work until 12:05.  This is when I decided I must have flushed my brain today.

I went and got a McIcedTea, and wondered about town for about an hour. By then the boy was starting to get restless, but I didn't figure dropping him off 20 minutes early today would hurt anything... Besides... I needed to find another bathroom... I wasn't certain there were more problems, but I didn't want to risk a fart at this point.

I abuse 1/2 price books for their facilities- things aren't right, but they are better than before. I shop around their photo section, martial arts section, amime, software, etc. and pick up a $5 book on a famous oddball photographer.

I head home and see a garage sale on my street, so I stop and look.  There's a steel dump truck toy that my older boy would adore, but there is no one manning the sale.  I knock on the door, and offer $2. Offer accepted, I take the prize home and leave in where the boy will notice it first thing when he comes in the door.

But walking home from the sale I noticed something I felt was photogenic, and I hadn't shot much recently... since the light was good and I didn't have much on my slate just now, I grabbed my camera and headed back to take a few shots. The shots of the neighbor's discarded furniture didn't come out quite like I had seen it in my mind's eye... but the crack in the weatherworn, wet sidewalk with the helicopter seeds pretty much did. In the full resolution image, there's a ton of little details.

I worked on polishing up one of my other English papers so I can turn in a revised draft for an improved score next week, and while I was chipping away at that, The Wife came home with the boys. Soon after, we headed out to Mama China for dinner.  My wife and I have been trying to arrange a Chinese buffet night for some time now, but things keep falling through.  The big boy is old enough now that we have to pay for him, but that's fine... he likes the fruit, chicken, noodles, and sweets. He eats well when we go to "the cookie restaurant."  My wife also gets the buffet, but since I have such a limited capacity, I order a dish off the menu and will have leftovers for a week.  The 6 mo old "eats" free, so Michele lets him play with a few rice noodles, a smashed pea,  a grape cut into eighths, a section of mandarin orange cut up... and I joke "What, no pudding?"

The boy plays with the foods and considerably more of his tiny helping ends up on the floor than in his belly. When wifey goes up for seconds, she also comes back with tiny dollops of the 2 pudding flavors on their cold service bar.  She breaks out the baby spoon and readies a itty-bit of the chocolate pudding, and puts it in the child's mouth. He looks unhappy, drawing  an "Awwww" from his folks. Then there's a little cough and my wife says, "buddy, it's just pudding, I don't think there's anything there to choke on." And that was my 6 mo old's cue to spew like a fountain.

It came in three rapid volleys, and thankfully didn't draw much attention from the waitstaff or other guests. We cleaned him up, changed his clothes, wiped things down as well as we could with a pile of napkins and a few diaper wipes, and took the boys home.

On the way home my darling wife pointed out this was sort of a belated mother's day dinner, since that's about when our first Chinese Buffet plans starting getting derailed...  And that makes 2 mother's day dinners in a row that ended when one of our children puked on her. Last year, the one that was outside her belly at the time got sick at the steakhouse we were at with my parents on Mother's day. I told her next year we should get a baby sitter.